I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere

Taxes are no joke. And I've been jobless for quite a while. Needless to say that a considerable amount of my invoices were left unpaid without me being able to do any meaningful thing about them. Once again the fact that "I'm living in Italy" hit hard. Life has never been so difficult and I'm doing everything I can to make ends meet.

The one and only "a woman enjoying a cup of tea amidst bomb damage in London during World War II" by Cecil Beaton

And War!

Yep, WAR! Something was telling me that it was about to break very soon. And it wasn't lying. Two intense weeks. I think I lost a couple of kilos thanks to the stress and loss of appetite. Honestly, I didn't expect to feel anything for my family save for my sister but the pressure was beyond comprehension even for a selfish bastard like me. To be honest, most of us lower-class male Iranians are used to pressure. We are practically made out of iron and we can handle almost anything. But having no internet and no connection to the outside/inside (depending on where you are), while two of the most unpredictable and violent governments on the planet are at each other's throats can challenge even the most strong-willed individuals.

Photo by the late Kaveh Golestan

Let's face it! Compared to war, taxes are a joke. Don't get me wrong! I'm not downplaying financial difficulties but war is something else. And I'm all for a hero who can topple the regime and save the day. But I'm as skeptical of that hero being the Trump/Netanyahu duo as the next person. Sure they crushed the theocratic motherf*ckers and I gotta admit that seeing the religious fascists running for their lives turns me on! But I'm afraid of the government's retaliation as well as the indifference of the Israeli and the US governments towards innocent civilians' lives given their dark records. Needless to mention that many of the victims were conscripted soldiers, those who were obliged to serve. Sadly, nobody asked their opinion about this war.

Well this pretty much sums up the darkest days of my 2025 so far. Maybe not as horrible as spending 75 days in pure isolation during the Pandemic but then again I felt like a sailor who was witnessing the sinking of his ship in the middle of the ocean.

Is there any coast in sight?

On the bright side, however, I did quite a lot to avoid being a passive witness of another disaster. I finally did the DELF B2. Now, I'm preparing for the Delf C1/C2 by writing essays and syntheses, listening to podcasts, and talking to myself as much as I can. On the same note, I did CILS C2 as well. Way better than what I did with CILS C1 back in December and I really hope by the end of the year I'll be able to say that, academically speaking, I know my French and Italian.

Photo by Ehsan Abdollahi-Kish Island

Luckily, I found two positions as well which came as a surprise to me since Turin language schools are notoriously ruthless with non-native speakers. While a clueless "native speaker" can find a job without breaking any sweat just because they were born "native" out of their mother's womb, people like me who do everything to guide learners through the halls of hell of language learning and exam preparation are left to rot with our useless diplomas and certificates at hand. Thank gods the new school seems way more professional than any school I visited or worked with here in Italy.

Finally, I'm about to send my application for the long residency permit which is all one can ask for in my position. The Italian bureaucracy loves to crush your spirit and I knew for sure nobody was gonna hand us citizenship in the last referendum. I know as well that the upcoming months will be nerve-racking, in particular financially, but I'm starting to see some calmer waters ahead. Something that pushes me to go above and beyond to make it out of this damned ocean alive.

As I was scrolling YouTube, perhaps thanks to the algorithm, I bumped into Alain Suchon's C'est déjà ça. I'm still living far better than the war refugees but somehow I feel I can better relate to them than a Western European. I know «ایران درست نمیشه» or Iran's not gonna recover has become a motto among Iranian migrants. Nevertheless, thinking of a future Iran without dictatorship is a sweet dream. Till then I gotta get used to living among strangers.